Carer Stories: Brydie

You don’t have to do it every day.

Many people assume foster care is a full-time commitment. What they often don't realise is that there are many ways to make a difference.

When CASPA talks about foster care, we often talk about the importance of a village. Not just parents and children, but extended family and trusted adults who step in when they are needed.

For children and young people in care, respite carers are part of that village: the foster grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins who provide belonging and support for as long as needed. And that's exactly how Brydie sees it.

A foster carer with CASPA for the past five years, Brydie, her husband and their four children have mostly provided respite and emergency care.

Between work, university studies, sport, volunteering and raising four children, life was already busy. Rather than waiting for a perfect time to become a carer, Brydie discovered she could foster in a way that worked for the life she already had.

"People don't realise how flexible foster care can be, and how it can fit into your life," she says. "I think more people would be foster carers if they knew that."

For Brydie, respite care often meant opening their home for a weekend, the school holidays, or when another foster family needed some extra support. What starts as a night or two can sometimes become something more, but only if it works for you and your family.

One emergency placement involving twin toddlers was originally expected to last a single evening. The boys ended up staying with Brydie's family for five months.

"Even though it could be hard at times," she says, "they brought so much joy and life into our family."

Like many carers, Brydie talks about the children who have come through their home with enormous affection. One pair of brothers became regular visitors through respite care.

"I love that they used to call it 'going on holiday with Tris and Brydie,'" she says.

Weekends were filled with beach trips, flying kites, swimming, ice creams and adventures.

“It wasn’t 'going on respite' or 'getting sent away'. It was something they looked forward to and enjoyed doing. And I love that we were able to do that for them.”

Being a respite carer has also influenced Brydie's own children. Over the years, they have learned empathy, patience and understanding through relationships with children whose experiences have often looked very different to their own.

"It's exposure to a different world," Brydie says. "They've learnt that someone's behaviour often comes from things that have happened to them, not because they're a bad person."

She believes fostering has helped her children become more compassionate and less judgemental.

"Certain behaviours have led us to have important conversations about why someone might act the way they do. It's understanding that you haven't walked in somebody else's shoes. That other people have got other things going on for them, and that you never know the full picture."

Of course, there are challenges too. Sometimes, meeting the needs of a child or young person means putting your own plans on hold. And saying goodbye can be difficult, especially when strong bonds have formed. But Brydie says the rewards far outweigh the hard moments.

"No one in our family would be resentful of any of the compromises we’ve made for these kids. Because we really love them all."

Throughout her fostering journey, support from CASPA, connections with other carers and a strong network of family and friends have made being a carer a little bit easier.

For anyone considering foster care, Brydie wants them to know how flexible it is.

"You don't have to do it every day. Once a week, once a month, whatever works for you can make a huge difference."

Whether it's a weekend a month, emergency care when you're available, or providing respite for another foster family, every single foster carer makes a huge difference.

Do you have a spare weekend a month like Brydie and her family?